Beamer Drivin' Wom'n (revised Short Haired Woman by Lightning Hopkins)

September 4, 2018 - 1:51pm - by Linn Barnes

Lightin’ Hopkins, bluesman par excellence, man, he hated wigs,

all his wife (wives) ever seemed to want, 

and he wrote about it: 

 

‘Short haired Woman Blues’

I don't want no wom'n, 

if her hair it ain't no longer 'an mine 

I don't want no w'man, 

if her hair it ain't no longer 'an mine 

Yeah, ya know, she ain't no good for nothin' but trouble, did ya know 'at? 

Vets keep ya buyin' rats all the time 

Yeah, you know I got on the good side of my woman, 

I told her, "Darlin', I's a-comin' to go have some fun" 

You know, I went to make her swing out when a rat fell from her head like, 

one from a burnin' barn 

I just don't want, want no woman, 

boy, if her hair it ain't no longer 'an mine 

Whoa, ya know she ain't no good for nothin' but trouble 

Vets keep ya buyin' rats all the time 

Yeah, you know rats and wigs'll get ya killed 

Yeah, you know I got on the good side of my woman, 

I told her, "Darlin', I's comin' to go have some fun" 

You know, I went to make her swing out when a rat fell from her head like, 

one from a burnin' barn 

I say, I don't want no woman, 

boy, if her hair it ain't no longer 'an mine 

You know she ain't no good for nothin' but trouble, did ya know 'at? 

Vets keep ya buyin' rats all the time.

Now, this is a great song, funny and ridiculous, but

Somehow, I doubt this notion would be long lived in modern life….

Lots of reasons for wigs these days, no longer funny…

Guess the tune needs a re-write:  How about:

Beamer Wo'm Blues

I don’t want no wom’n

if her car much better than mine

I don’t want no w’man

if her car much better than mine

Yeah, ya know, she ain't no good for nothin' but trouble, did ya know 'at? 

Likes keep you buyin’  beamers all the time

Yeah, you know I got on the good side of my woman, 

I told her, "Darlin', I's a-comin' to go have some fun" 

You know, I went to make her swing out when the keys fell from her hand like, 

one from a burnin' hotdog bun 

I just don't want, want no woman, 

boy, if her car much better than mine

Whoa, ya know she ain't no good for nothin' but trouble 

Likes keep ya buyin' beamers all the time 

Yeah, you know beamers and mercs'll get ya killed 

Yeah, you know I got on the good side of my woman, 

I told her, "Darlin', I's comin' to go have some fun" 

You know, I went to make her swing out when the keys fell from her hand like, 

one from a burnin' hotdog bun 

I say, I don't want no woman, 

boy, if her car much better 'an mine 

You know she ain't no good for nothin' but trouble, did ya know 'at? 

Likes keep ya buyin' them beamers all the time.